"So, this is Planet Houston."

For the two geeks--and I mean that in the nicest way possible--currently snickering at the blog title, I salute you. I think, though, that the three of us need to get some perspective.

Anyway: tonight the OBC (ol' ball and chain) and I went to see Get Smart. Not bad at all. Love Steve Carell, smell what The Rock is cooking, Anne Hathaway wore some fabulous clothes, quality cameos, etc. But what (or, I suppose, who) made the movie? Terence Stamp. Terence freaking Stamp plays the villain in Get Smart.

If you're unfamiliar with British actor Terence Stamp...well, first, I weep for you but next I direct you to think back to (or Netflix) Superman II and, the greatest villain to ever get trapped in a galactic hand mirror: General Zod. In Superman II, General Zod, his friendly giant and some ESP-happy chick who looked a little bit like Pat Benatar are Kryptonian criminals who Superman accidentally frees to run amok on Earth. Seriously. They toss people around, choke yokels, and chew scenery. Great stuff. And Terence Stamp (bless his clasically-trained, Oscar-nominated little heart) went the way of Alec Guinness in Star Wars and Donald Pleasence in Halloween. "I'm sure I can wear black rubbery tights and say 'Kneel before Zod' without Comic-Con bound devotees remembering me, only, for this little dalliance."

Not so fast, Terence.

Seriously, how do I explain my love for Terence Stamp and his hilarious awesomeness in Superman II? How do you quantify the geeked-out glee of Googling a man and getting results that begin with super-cool caveats like "With all due respect to Ian McKellan's Magneto?"

There are no words, only YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKDFop0aqYQ

The Fifth Dimension of Hell

So, my husband was paging through this trivia quiz book (the sort of gift people tend to give us a lot) and stumbled across a song title with which he was unfamiliar. So he decided to ferret out a clip of the song online.

THIS is why it pays to know your music trivia, people...so what happened to my beloved won't happen to you.

He clicked on the file and was treated to a synthesizer version of the Fifth Dimension's "Up, Up and Away." Why he didn't know better--didn't know this God-awful song--I'm not sure. But by the time I heard the first two notes from the adjoining room, I couldn't save him. I could name that tune in two notes, Bob, and that tune is "It's too late! Save yourselves!"

(If you're not familiar with the song, please take a moment check it out on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXZDkkeSVBs or else you will be unable to grasp the horror of what happened next.)

So, he listened to the impossibly bad Muzak version of the impossibly bad song for 20 seconds, decided he had no clue what it was and clicked out. Or tried. He couldn't close the file. He couldn't pause the file He couldn't turn down the file. He couldn't CTRL + ALT + DELETE. He couldn't do anything but sit there and take it.

Listening to this festival of sound, I was reminded of watching this really disturbing sixth grade graduation video featuring two of my friends (who are still dear friends, one of whom is probably reading this and having a mega-flashback). As memory serves, the video was a loop of disembodied sixth grade heads floating up-screen, each head superimposed on a red balloon, while "Up, Up and Away" played again and again.

I was shaken from my flashback to realize that the song was STILL playing and that my husband was STILL calling for help. Eventually I proposed that he just power-off, damn the consequences. But I enjoyed the view--and the song--for awhile before I did it. The Fifth Dimension would have wanted it that way.