Old-Timey Wiggles

On my way to drop off a friend at her place we passed some happy neighbors walking a pair of dachshund. Naturally, my response was measured and safe: I squealed and swerved, nearly missing a sign for SteelCankers Seashore Mill or whichever development it is. Now, a pair of wiener dogs--*giggle* the first three times I typed that it came out "wiener gods"--is enough to stop me in my tracks, but this was so much more. One of the puppies looked just like my wiener dog, Wiggles--same spots, same disoriented swagger, same curly ears--except without her rusty, golden brown coloring. This doppelwiener was black and white. It was the old timey version of my wiener dog.

I envisioned my puppy's low-riding ancestor trotting back to a house in that exaggerated Steamboat Willy-way leaping through saloon-style dog doors. In Old Timey Wiggles' house, a player piano runs non-stop and men in fedoras roll barrels of liquor past scarlet women. Somehow, in my brain, the doppelwiener lives in a bizarre hybrid of Capone's Chicago and the Old West. I see her as the kid in the news cap who pushes pencils during the day and keeps watch for illegal craps rings at night. I'm just grateful that my own Technicolor Wiggles never took the road to perdition that her ancestors did.

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Many of you (okay, one) have called me on my spelling of wiener, preferring the more attractive "weiner." I looked it up, though, and mine is the original spelling...your (okay, her) spelling is the lazy man's answer. It's similar to people getting so sick of people refusing to use the proper, awkward-sounding past tenses like hanged or sneaked...now "hung" and "snuck" are acceptable. Where does it stop, people?!?!